Crabby Cake

Just the way I see things…

Archive for February 18th, 2009


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I don’t want children.

When I was younger I wanted kids. My ex and I used to talk about having kids. I wanted to be a school teacher at one point in my life.

But then I realized, I don’t find joy and happiness in children.

I don’t ooh and aah or coo and goo at babies.

Its great that you are holding your child, but please continue to hold her because I have no desire to.

I finally feel like most of my depression is so far behind me. Why would I want to have a child and increase my chance of bringing more depression into my life? So many people I know have told me about their postpartum depression, I know I’d be a perfect candidate for it. My mom finally gets this, she sees it as a very valid reason. I’m also choosing to end my depression with me, I don’t want to have a child deal with it the way I have.

I hate getting up early for work. I know I would hate getting up early to tend to a child.

I don’t like things that are sticky.

I have debt to pay off still. There is no extra money for a child because I am comfortable the way I am.

So many people don’t understand all of this. It is perfectly okay, I promise you. If you don’t understand my not wanting, I don’t understand the yearning for one or even more than one.

Written by crabbycake

February 18, 2009 at 9:29 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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Love list 2.18.09

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  • Kevin and his asking “why so crabby, crabby?
  • Things I Did Last Night
  • bacon waffles?
  • Frye boots, after they are broken in
  • peach pie
  • clean hair, the day after
  • milk with vanilla syrup
  • babies when they go home with their mom and dads
  • snap peas
  • the story of Dave’s Killer Bread
  • Notmartha’s suggestion on the Bandette comb. Um, yeah… it rules and looks so much nicer than a ponytail
  • homemade garlic mashed potatoes
  • The WhoWho’s Next on vinyl
  • Xhilaration boyshorts from Target
  • things being described as tragic that really aren’t
  • the question “why are you such a douche?” being asked in my kitchen
  • this sweater, which looks better on my friend and I than it does in this picture.
  • organic celery
  • banjos
  • red mary janes
  • Papermate Ballpoint Stick Pens, only in blue
  • saying the things no one else really wants to say but probably thinks

Written by crabbycake

February 18, 2009 at 7:46 pm

Posted in Uncategorized