Crabby Cake

Just the way I see things…

Posts Tagged ‘family

Happy Father’s Day, dad!

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Oh hai. Geez, I need to post more…

So.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there! My dad is pretty kick ass, but in a totally different way than my mom….

Blah  blah, years ago I went to therapy… It was a fucked up point in my life and I really don’t know if therapy did much but question EVERYTHING a bit more. But, thank god I had a $20 co-pay. The question came up about my parents and their relationship… Um, my folks have been happily married(?) since 1975.

The part I realize as an adult is, my dad busted his balls as much as he possibly could saying yes and no to multiple people so his young wife could be there to raise his  2 small children for almost 10 years.

My dad has been delivering your daily bread for about 35 years, in the Seattle area for about 28 years and before that San Fransisco. My dad has been getting up around 1am for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I remember eating dinner at 5pm and my dad going to bed around 7pm, if not earlier. On his Sundays off, he would wake us up at 7am with fresh hot pancakes! To my dad, sleeping in was 4:20am. Even going on vacation with him as an adult, sleeping in is over at 7am! Get up! Did I mention my dad still gets up early and is 60?

As an adult, even without the want of children, I have realized that my dad has done so much for me and my family.  I am with a wonderful person, Kevin, who I realize has a father that thought more about himself than his wonderful family of five.  Kevin has the most wonderful mother that I feel the need to wish her happy father’s day as well!

Dad, I know you might never see this but I want to say thank you! Thank you for that moment many many years ago when you told me you were my dad and also my friend and shared your teddy bear Sugar with me and told me I could also share anything with you that I ever needed with you.  Thank you so very much for telling me that my ex fiance was an asshole when it mattered most! Thank you for watching cartoons! Thank you for letting me, and whom ever I’ve been with, use your time share in Canada. Thank you for co-signing student loans! Thank you for paying for community college, even when I dropped out! Thank you for co-signing on student loans! Thank you for refinancing my car when I had someone else’s eviction on my credit report. Thannl you for offering to go with me to buy tires this week, even though I’m almost 33 and have bought them a few times in the past. Thank you for giving me the love of Mexican food. Thank you for being the normal one in your family! Thank you for your work ethic! Thank you for deciding to move to Seattle! Thank you for doing a hard ass job all these years! Thnak you for letting me be me! Thank you for balancing me.

I love my dad! I realize at my ripe age of almost 33 that the calmness and going with the flow bit all comes from my dad. As does my depression, varicose veins, eye lashes, thick hair that has recently gone curly, ADD tendencies,  and crazy love of chips and salsa… Sadly, my pops is out of town until the 23rd…But, I am happy that he is on vacation! Have fun in Glacier!

I love you, pops! Thank you so much for all that you have done, and still do for me!

P.S. Stop sending me text messages of the cat!

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Written by crabbycake

June 19, 2011 at 12:33 am

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Yay mom…

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Whoa dudes…

What’s new? Nothing, really.

Or it was really gross and cold earlier in the week and today it was amazingly beautiful with highs in the 60s.

Or I bought a big ass purse.

Or I joined Weight Watchers again. Ugh. So I have a love hate relationship with this program. Or, maybe I needed a huge break in order to figure out what was wrong with my guts. But, the truth is Weight Watchers works for me… just like my mom swears that South Beach is the greatest thing on the plant and helped her lose 30 pounds and she’s stayed within that 30 pounds range give or take 5 pounds for something like 5+ years.

Speaking of moms… so I have a weird relationship with my mom and its been that way for years, like maybe 27 of them. I love my mom… because she is my mom. When I was a kidlet my mom didn’t work so she could raise my brother and I. She was totally hands on. When I was 9 or so she got a job working in the school district, this drove me nuts and still sort of does. She does some pretty neat stuff for hobbies. We don’t always  see eye to eye and we have very different out looks on life. My mom seems to be pretty happy and such and tries very hard to understand my depression. I think my mom had finally gotten to the point where she is okay that I don’t want to have children. My mom is only 21 years older than I am. My mom is my mom and that’s really all there is to it…. I love you mom, and thank you for listening to me and trying the best you can, to understand me.

Written by crabbycake

May 8, 2010 at 10:31 pm

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Gluten dreams and family that just doesn’t get it.

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I had a dream last night that I ate gluten. I was at someone’s house and ate cornbread. I realized after a few bites that it was probably full of extra flours. I remember asking if it had flour in it and they said yes, but it was organic. I started to panic and get very upset. … then I woke up.

Years ago when I took soy out of my diet, it was really hard to explain it to friends and family. Especially family. Going to a brunch where there would be “tons of things for me to eat!” and only being able to eat fruit. While I know people have great intentions and really try to accommodate my food issues and intolerance, it would be helpful to get the right one. My aunt thought I was lactose intolerant so she bought me rice milk? She also pointed out to me that it was organic.

This is going to be the hardest one to explain to people. I mean really. I work in a store where people tell me they don’t want wheat flour, they want white flour. Really, what kind of grain is white flour from then? White is a color, not a grain I’ve ever heard of. I told my dad about eating gluten free, he delivers bread for a living and has for more than 30 years and he told me I should try this one they carry that is made with flax.

But I think the real problem is that most Americans, including 99.9% of my family, has no idea what their foods look like in raw form. They now know that organic is better for you… There are tons of things that I know about foods, and there are tons of things I don’t know about foods. I’m learning everyday. I wish I could encourage people to think more about their food, but it has to be their choice and not forced upon them.

I wish I had been born with all of these food intolerance and known about being gluten intolerant/or with Celiac disease earlier in life. People who have known me my whole life, mainly family, know I could eat whatever I wanted but now don’t understand why I can’t as a 30+ adult. I’m old enough to know my body and know when something isn’t right.

Written by crabbycake

March 15, 2010 at 10:00 am

I object!

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I’m going to a wedding this afternoon. Kevin’s brother is getting hitched.

This will be the first time I will attend a wedding that sounds like a bad idea.

Written by crabbycake

December 5, 2009 at 11:34 am

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I <3 my few gray hairs.

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I’ve decided that my mom worries about my gray hairs more than I do. She seems to bring them up whenever I see her.

I have a feeling she frets over them so much because it reminds her that I’m the one that is going to be 31 and shes 52.

I honestly don’t care to dye them because I couldn’t be bothered with the upkeep of dying my hair.

Written by crabbycake

June 16, 2009 at 9:35 pm

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Not cool, Cali.

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Dude.

California… what’s the deal?

Gays can’t get married in your lines? But if they were to get married in that short time slot that was allowed, their marriage is still legit? I don’t understand why this is still an on going battle.

Hmm. All are created equal my ass.

Written by crabbycake

May 26, 2009 at 3:48 pm

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me>babies

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I don’t want children.

When I was younger I wanted kids. My ex and I used to talk about having kids. I wanted to be a school teacher at one point in my life.

But then I realized, I don’t find joy and happiness in children.

I don’t ooh and aah or coo and goo at babies.

Its great that you are holding your child, but please continue to hold her because I have no desire to.

I finally feel like most of my depression is so far behind me. Why would I want to have a child and increase my chance of bringing more depression into my life? So many people I know have told me about their postpartum depression, I know I’d be a perfect candidate for it. My mom finally gets this, she sees it as a very valid reason. I’m also choosing to end my depression with me, I don’t want to have a child deal with it the way I have.

I hate getting up early for work. I know I would hate getting up early to tend to a child.

I don’t like things that are sticky.

I have debt to pay off still. There is no extra money for a child because I am comfortable the way I am.

So many people don’t understand all of this. It is perfectly okay, I promise you. If you don’t understand my not wanting, I don’t understand the yearning for one or even more than one.

Written by crabbycake

February 18, 2009 at 9:29 pm

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